Many people hide the truth, not just men but women too. Everybody is different, people get scared or afraid to disappoint someone so they lie.
What do men lie about?
Most men lie about height, how much they earn or intentions. Yes, intentions are another lie, many men say something but they don’t know what they mean. For example, a man can say he prefers friendship, but what he means is that he wants a friendship that can lead to a romantic relationship.
When a woman says she wants to be friends, very often she means what she says - “just friends”.
The dating game can be brutal, harsh and difficult for some people. It is true that some women lie to appear more desirable. We all have certain biases when we are meeting new people, so we have to be judged by others even against our will.
Would you be more careful and judgmental or the opposite?
People like less judgmental people. It can hurt you in the long run though if you meet people who lie and cheat. Everybody wants to be liked, so less judgmental people are more attractive and easier to talk to.
If you lie, I hope you will stop. People who lie are afraid to be judged and afraid to be rejected. Rejection is part of life and you are going to be rejected more or less depending on certain factors.
The Quandary
No one wants to be hurt, but no one wants to be lied to either. If you want to stop lying think about the other person. Think how upset, betrayed he or she would feel if you she/or he found out the truth. It’s better not to say anything than to lie. Don’t lie by omission either. Be an honest and caring person.
Caring about truth can be hard if you were treated badly. If you were betrayed too many times by many different people, you are more likely to give up on truth. If you were abused don’t become the abuser.
The world has enough lairs and cheaters already and you don’t need to be one of them. Listen to your heart and your inner values. Know what matters to you. Somewhere inside you there is a place where you want to be an honest person. A desire to be loved and cared for are good qualities.
Okay, now that I am done with the Venus crap, let me get down to the nitty-gritty and explain exactly why men lie.
I watched a movie for the second time recently; titled "Knocked Up." It’s a funny relationship movie that is worth watching if your time permits. I also watched Dane Cook’s stand-up special on Comedy Network called "Isolated Incident." After spending time viewing these shows I was prompted by two scenes (one in each) to think about why men lie, or choose to lie in certain situations. Well here is my take on the matter and I do believe I have hit the bull's-eye.
A lie is spoken because at the given time the individual does not want to deal with any challenging intellectual riggers. Think carefully about this. There are many situations in which telling the truth will only lead to a debate or worse, an argument; whereby telling a lie will grant the same individual peace; momentary freedom to do what he or she wants to do. Remember in the movie “Knocked up” where the husband would lie to his wife about going to see local bands two or three nights a week? She did not believe him but did not argue with him either. He told the lie so he didn’t have to deal with any emotional fallout.
Ask yourself these questions. Are there times where you just want to do something honest and have a good time doing it? Is it possible to have a good time after having argued with someone you care for or love? Think again of the scene from “Knocked up.” Could the husband have had a good time at the sports fantasy league meeting if he had just augured with his wife? (Women reading this blog don’t even attempt to answer this question.)
Women! You do this crap too! But in your minds it’s different, right? You have a good reason that men don’t understand. And it’s important to you. Well sisters, I think I know the reason - you don’t want to deal with any challenging intellectual riggers (of if you prefer bullshit) at the given moment! Right? You just want to go and do what you want to do and have a nice time doing it.
What’s the answer? Well I believe it is what I have done for years. I accept the truth and live with it regardless of how the truth makes me feel. I respect the person telling me what they want to do and I let them do it without any issuance of my own intellectual crap!
Bottom line: We all lie (men and women). If we’d dispense with the bullshit perhaps the lies would be unnecessary.
"Thanks for reading, thanks for visiting."
Copyright © 2010 by Palmer Pinckney II
Amen, Chief.
ReplyDeleteVery true.