Leadership and Relationships

What makes leadership work? Some believe it's our strong emphasis on setting limits. They think that folks who are struggling with leadership just aren't setting enough limits. Others believe that the power of leadership has more to do with providing consequences for inappropriate behavior. They think that those who're unsuccessful  just need to do a better job of providing bigger and more powerful consequences.

Both of these viewpoints are right…and also wrong. Limits are critical, but we'll never make them stick if we don't have good relationships. Holding people accountable for their poor performance is also essential, but have you noticed that some people just don't seem to care that much about consequences when they come from someone they don't respect?

Everything rests on relationships. Limits gain their power from them, and so do consequences. So, if we want leadership to have its full power, we're wise to do plenty of the following:
         
          - Focus mostly on strengths rather than weaknesses.
          - Smile as often as possible.
          - Write notes that tell subordinates your expectations.
          - Greet them each day.
          - Make sure that they overhear talk about how much their contribution to the organization is appreciated.
          - Deliver your leadership with great sincerity.

Thanks for reading thanks for visiting.

Singletask

This year my son graduated third grade and will begin the next school year ready to focus on his assignments and of course the playground.  I sat one evening in my favorite family room chair and thought as I usually do when sitting quietly, about all the advice passed to me from school and college scholars, such as, "Dare to be wrong" or, "Be like Curious George." I thought deeply as I sat on, what advice I would offer to a student body sitting and listening to me.  I must admit that the opportunity to address such a mass of wonderfully open-minded youth would certainly be an opportunity I would not pass up.  I continued to ponder the thought and drifted thinking of my approach to life and how I take advantage of the fact that regardless of my perceived skills I can only be wholly focused on one thing. I think this type of focus is nice, isn't it?

In the past, today and in the future, you will have more and more claims made on your attention, and I am sure you will be asked to multitask. We all have unquestioning faith in this wonderful skill, multitasking, and we are often told that we need to multitask to succeed in the workplace. But I want to counter that the world does not need more multitaskers. We need more singletaskers, people who think deeply and slowly about one thing. The world needs, I believe, people who can, like Einstein, devote three-and-a-half years to a single problem, such as why light behaves like both a particle and a wave. So my advice to you today is, "Dare to singletask."

Now I know that "Dare to singletask" isn't very catchy. Multitasking sounds much cooler. Who wants to singletask? According to Microsoft Word, it's not even a word. (Multitask is, by the way.) I considered using the word "monotask," which at least has the benefit of beginning with an "m," like its counterpart "multitask." But I like "singletask" because it conjures "single-mindedness." Besides, monotask sounds like something you do when you have mononucleosis, or runs the risk of sounding monotonous. Singletask sounds like you are doing it on purpose.

And purpose is the purpose. Blaise Pascal, the famous scientist said, "All of man's trouble stems from his inability to sit quietly in a room alone." I am asking you to do just that. Sit in a room alone. Since most of you have roommates or family whom you cannot eject, find any place that will do. A library corner or a quiet location outdoors. Just be alone with your thoughts. Do one thing deeply and well. Struggle with a very difficult book for months. Stare at a flower. Think about the purpose of life.

Beginning to sound a bit holistic here, but I believe you know what I mean.

This is not an anti-technology rant. I love technology as much as the next person. I have an iPhone and several other gadgets. I don't Twitter, but I think I know what it means. If my wife allows me, I might even get an iPad. Rather, I am just calling for more horsepower where we need it - deep, analytical thinking about one important topic. The inscription at the entrance of the Oracle at Delphi in Greece was "Know thyself." Greeks visited Delphi to find answers, but the answer they received was to look within.

Besides, you may not be as good at multitasking as you believe. Research by Clifford Nass at Stanford University shows that chronic multitaskers who think they are good at doing many things at the same time actually perform poorly at multitasking. He says that most of what we know about psychology suggests that the brain is not very good at multitasking, yet we are called to do it more and more.

So when your present or future supervisor or professor or spouse asks you to do two or three things by next Wednesday, do them well by next Tuesday. Do not say, "Excuse me, but palmerpinckney.blogspot.com advised me not to multitask." Instead, I am warning against all of the distractions we invite into our lives to the exclusion of deep thinking. I recently read that during one of his late sermons, the Hindu god Buddha simply held up a flower in silence. That was the entire sermon. The name Buddha means "Awakened." I am asking you to be awake, to sit under a tree as Buddha did for 49 days, to singletask. I think the gifts of singletasking will be many, not least of all the gift of yourself.

Thanks for reading, thanks for visiting.

Copyright © 2010 Palmer Pinckney II

Time for everything

I remember it was Easter Sunday, I was about 7 or 8-years-old, sitting in church praying the service would end quickly so I could get back to our little house a short walk away and tear that Easter Basket open. There I sat impatiently, waiting for each minute to pass; I could feel each second. It was painful, and for an 8-year-old, being deprived of his Easter Basket was something that no human being, or even God almighty could justifiably explain.

I’m pretty positive that everyone has had a similar experience having had to wait for something and being cursed by the plague of time. Tick-tock, tick-tock… the clock tells time. Seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years, and decades, time passes by, sometimes slowly and sometimes without haste. Described as a curse by some and as a blessing by others, time is nothing more and nothing less than the sequence of events in an individual’s life. Religious leaders, philosophers, and scientists have all pondered, questioned, and even tried to predict these sequences but still time prevails and remains owned by only the individual that is living in the moment.

So, why do I write about this personal commodity known as time? I do so to share an observation. This is not an opinion or guidance; it is merely one eyewitness’ explanation of what I am fairly certain you too will agree with.

Question: What is the number one excuse that people use to explain their failure to achieve their goals? Ponder this query for a moment and relate it to your own existence. Before writing my answer to this question, let me pause for a sidebar. In my question, I purposely chose the word “excuse” because I want you, the reader, to focus with me on the absolute answer here. You see there is a stark difference between an excuse and a reason. One way to look at it is a reason is an explanation. An excuse makes it sound like it was okay. Another way: An excuse is a reason justified by dishonesty.

Excuses are a justification for giving up or giving in. You didn't explore all your options, or ignored or denied your options, you didn't plan ahead, and you didn't ask for help, or you didn't accept help offered. Excuses are reasons that rely on you being dishonest with others and yourself.

The ability to make an excuse relies on choice. A valid reason restricts your choices. Example: I was late because my watch didn't work. Excuse. There are CHOICES you had to figure out what time it was. Ask someone. Call a time service. Keep a clock in the house or car too. You didn't plan ahead properly because for some reason it wasn't important to you to be on time.

Okay back to the question: What is the number one excuse that people use to explain their failure to achieve their goals? I believe the answer is “Time!” We’ve all heard it, I hear it almost everyday. “If I only had the time… My, my, where did all the time go… I ran out of time.” And my personal favorite, “I don’t have time.”

There was a time when I would agree with the person that uttered these statements. Nowadays I think to myself when I hear these phrases, “Didn’t make time.”

Another observation I made regarding time is this 24-hour matter. According to Wikipedia, “A day is a unit of time equivalent to approximately 24 hours. The word 'day' can also refer to the (roughly) half of the day that is not night.” Both refer to a length of time. Remember, time is owned by the person living the moment. For any reason this individual can decide to do what ever they want with their time.

Steven Jobs, chief executive office of Apple Inc. says it best.

“Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

Wow! “Don’t be trapped by dogma…” I like this. I have had days as short as 10 or 11 hours and others as long as 30 or 40. The 24-hour clock, though fact, does not control my day.

I have to be careful here and keep my promise not to give “opinion” nor offer any “guidance.” All I want to express here is that from my observation at the ripe age of 40-something (smile), I sleep when I need to, eat when I need to and spend all the time I can with my family. I love them so. As for my goals, there is only one “reason” that I will not achieve them; I see him every morning in the mirror.

I will depart this prose with the immortal words of Mr. Jack London, my childhood hero, “I don’t wish to merely exist, I want to live and experience my life.”

Tick-tock, tick-tock… the clock tells time… and lost time is never found again.

Oh and one last favorite quote, "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."
--- Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986)


"Thanks for reading, thinks for visiting."

Copyright © 2010 by Palmer Pinckney II

My three behaviors for success

You’d be hard-pressed to find any successful person that would disagree with the pearls of wisdom I will share with you at the end of this read.

No one makes a goal to fail. Think about this for a moment, do you know anyone that upon their decision to achieve something did so with the full intention of failing? I don’t. Sure there are those that are failing miserably in life, but I would argue that the blame for this failure does not rest solely on the individual. The key to success in any endeavor is leadership. Look at any successful person, speak with them about their success and they will undoubtedly attribute all, or at least part of their success to a role model, mentor, or leadership influence that happened at some point before or during their quest for greatness. In many cases, anyone seeking success first finds success in someone else. This is most evident in the business world, to include the sports and fashion industries. In several magazine and television interviews, David Robinson, Navy Officer and 10x NBA All-Star; and Tyra Banks, model, media mogul and businesswoman, both attribute the bulk of their success to people that left positive impressions on them.

If you are a person that does not have positive influences in your life I would share this piece of experience with you: Find some! Change up your flow, rotate your friends and acquaintances and start to move forward of other people instead of staying stagnant at the same pace or direction. Don’t sweat static talk from negative influences and those who don’t share your aspirations for success.

Remember the story of “Crabs in a Bucket?”

One day a man was walking along the beach and saw another man fishing in the surf with a bait bucket beside him. As he drew closer, he saw that the bait bucket had no lid and had live crabs inside.

"Why don't you cover your bait bucket so the crabs won't escape?" he said.

"You don't understand," the man replied. "If there is one crab in the bucket it would surely crawl out very quickly. However, when there are many crabs in the bucket and one tries to crawl up the side, the others grab hold of it and pull it back down so that it will share the same fate as the rest of them."

So it is with people. If one tries to do something different, get better grades, improve oneself, escape his or her environment, or dream big dreams, other people will try to drag him or her back down to share their fate.

Moral of the story: Ignore the crabs. Charge ahead and do what is right for you. It may not be easy and you may not succeed as much as you like, but you will NEVER share the same fate as those that never try.

Okay, now for the “three behaviors for success.” Yes, there are only three. Many have debated this but if you really look at these three facts you’ll find that anything else you can conjure up will inevitably fall into one of these headers:

#1: Be on time all the time. This is the first fact for a reason. Don’t be late; it’s a bad start from the get-go. I know of no one in the history of employment that has been hired as a result of being late for the interview. If you are assigned to be somewhere, be on time, every time. A good rule of thumb is, "Early is on time, and on time is late." Whenever possible, try to be early.

#2: Personal appearance is a must! This is about more than dressing to impress; this is about your ability to communicate and behave in a business environment. Businessmen and women have titles for a reason, use them! This respectful behavior of addressing people as sir, ma'am, Mr. Mrs. or Miss. will serve you well when it’s time for evaluation by those senior to you, or investing in you or your business.

#3: Know your gig!!! Learn everything there is about your profession, and when you think you know it all, learn more! This is called diversification of talents. A person with diverse talents is very valuable to the organization and the organization will do damn near anything to keep this person happy. A person with diversified talents is very valuable to an investor and he or she will pay the price to be on your team or afford you on their team.

That’s it! If for some reason you find you're not succeeding, check the facts and start over. It's never too late.

"Thanks for reading, thanks for visiting!"

Copyright © 2010 by Palmer Pinckney II